Holding Each Other Together
by Hippomatrix
Summary: He sometimes felt like he was breaking, but she always managed to make him feel whole again. She felt lost sometimes, but her son kept her from losing hope in the better world that they were trying to create. (Zutara One-shot)(Hiatus)
Katara brushed her hand over her son's feather soft hair. Iroh was sleeping soundly, and he looked so peaceful. She wished his father could look like this. Zuko tried not to show it, but she could see the weight he carried in his shoulders and the worry that creased his forehead when he thought she wasn't looking. He was stretched thin these days, and he had more responsibilities than ever before. She knew he worried incessantly about Iroh, even more than she did. He didn't like being apart from his son so often, but it couldn't be helped. He had a nation to lead and that was a lot of work.

He'd been gone all day and would likely be out for a few more hours. He was attending some meeting, but she couldn't remember what it was about. It must've been important, but she didn't care. She missed him, and so did Iroh.

Katara sighed and turned to blow out the candles. It was already late, and she knew waiting up for him would only leave her a nervous wreck. She double checked that Iroh was fine, then got into bed, pulling the covers around her. She knew she'd wake up when he came back

* * *

Zuko opened the door slowly, stepping hesitantly into the dark room. He closed the door behind him and let his eyes adjust to the dimness. He saw her form curled up beneath the blankets. She hadn't waited for him, and that made him feel both relieved and sad at the same time. Relieved because he didn't want her to lose sleep by staying up this late just to greet him, and sadness because he knew she was the only thing that could make him feel better right now.

As he watched her she shifted slightly, then reached her hand out towards him from her cocoon of blankets, whispering his name. He shut the door the rest of the way and made his way to their bed, sitting down next to her barely awake form. He wanted to indulge himself and turn to watch her, to brush the strands of her hair off her forehead, to lie beside her and let her curl into his warmth. But he couldn't. It felt like the weight of the world was on his shoulders and if he so much as looked at her, it would crush her, too.

Katara shifted again and he felt her hand tentatively touch his back. "What's wrong?" she whispered, rubbing circles over the tense muscles of his shoulders.

He stiffened and pulled away from her touch, denying himself her comfort. He bent over himself and pulled off his shoes, tossing them carelessly across the room.

After he'd been sitting hunched over a few seconds longer than necessary, she sat up on her knees and leaned against him, head resting on his shoulder. "Talk to me, Zuko," she whispered, wrapping her arms around him. "I want to help."

He couldn't bring himself to move, to reciprocate her embrace. It felt unfair that he had her. It felt unfair that he had anything. He ran his hand over his hair, smoothing loose strands from his face. "I just," he started, faltering. He took a deep breath and placed his hand over hers, running his thumb over her fingers. "I just don't know anymore. I don't know how to do this. Everyone sees me as this powerful emperor. They trust me, look up to me, even. And I know… I know that I'll let them down." He sighed. "I'm sorry, I..." his voice broke and he dropped his hand, trying to breathe normally so his words wouldn't sound so strained. "I'm trying to be who you want, but I just… I'm not him. I'll never be who everyone needs."

She nudged his cheek with her own. "You are who I want." She pressed a soft kiss to his cheek then his neck, and pulled him further onto the bed so he could face her, her fingers tracing lightly over his cheekbones as she spoke. "I know it's hard for you to believe sometimes, but I love you, I do. And so do your people. And so does your son," she whispered, glancing at the cradle a few feet away. "He needs you, and so do I."

He let out a choked breath and she pulled him into her arms, stroking his back and murmuring something he couldn't quite hear. He relaxed into her embrace and closed his eyes, trying to even out his breathing. He felt his tears dripping down his face onto he neck, but she didn't move away. He brought his hand up behind her head and ran it through her hair. It was loose and tangled, but touching it soothed him. He pressed a kiss to her collarbone in thanks and sat up to wriggle under the blankets with her. He wiped his tears away and pulled her against him, wrapping his arms around her. She settled her head onto his chest and snuggled closer. They were in their own cocoon of warmth and it didn't matter anymore that he felt broken, because she was there to hold him together.

He heard her breathing shift back into sleeping patterns, but he knew he wouldn't fall asleep for hours, and somehow, with her sleeping form curled into him, he wasn't dreading it. He pressed a kiss to the top of her head and closed his eyes, glad that she was here with him.

* * *

Katara woke up and reached out to Zuko, only to find him gone. She sat up and looked towards the cradle. Zuko was standing near it, cradling Iroh in his arms soothingly. He looked up at her and she could see the tiredness in his eyes even in the darkness, but he looked happy to be holding his son. She reached out to him and he circled the bed, sliding back under the covers next to her. He shifted Iroh into her arms, and she let him curl around her, her back against his chest. He pressed a kiss to her hair and wrapped his arms under hers, resting his fingers on her stomach. He trailed his hand under the hem of her sleep shirt and traced the texture of her stomach and hips. Her skin was soft but marked with indents that varied in size, a side effect of giving birth. She kissed Iroh's head as Zuko trailed his fingers over her stretch marks. Her son had been worth all the pain of childbirth and more.

"You're so beautiful," Zuko whispered, nuzzling closer to her. "I love you so much."

She tilted back and met his lips with a tired kiss, half asleep again. "I love you, too."


End file.
